Just got home from the read-thru of Steel Magnolias. I guess I didn't mention it before, but I got cast as Shelby in the Palace production that will open July 13th. It is funny how things happen. I never in a million years thought I would be playing the Julia Roberts part in Steel Magnolias. The show has just never spoken to me on a Southern level. I was born and raised in Texas, but my parents are Yankees from Pennsylvania. I don't have a southern Grandma feeding people and saying things like "I swanee." I simple was never interested in doing the show.

But when the scripts came in a couple of weeks ago, I decided to read it to see if I changed my mind, and I did. Not because I love the colors blush and bashful, or feel any more at home in a home-based beauty parlor. But because I am a mom now. When you have a child everything changes, they tell you that, but it really is true. I cried when I read the script. Because I can relate to Shelby who wants a child so badly she is willing to stupidly risk her life to have one. I relate to M'Lynn's trauma of dealing with her sick daughter and the pain of losing her. I just wanted to be a part of the show that shows how women can play the odds in life and win or lose, be surrounded and supported by her women friends.

So after a grueling 3-hour callback audition, I got the role of Shelby. And I have to find a way to relate to a woman who loves pink to distraction and has to have the absolute perfect color of nail polish or the day will be a failure. Luckily the script is well-written and the cast is great. It should be just enough of a challenge and good time had by all.

Here is the question of the century. Why do I blame my husband every time my son poops in the tub?

Really? This isn't a one time thing. Of late, Jackson has decided that his nightly bath ritual should include mommy screaming and snatching him out of the tub while yelling "David, get in here, there's poop!"

I am in the beginning stages of potty training with Jackson. We have a potty chair and several times a day I ask Jackson if he wants to sit on his potty. He is usually excited to do it and runs to the bathroom. He has not, as of yet, actually put any waste into the potty, but I have hope that will come.

I just have this irrational reaction towards my husband. I somehow think it is his fault. I yell at him and make him deal with it whenever I can. Maybe it is because he just thinks it's so damned funny. Maybe it is his fault because he is in charge of washing Jackson and Jackson pretty much only poops when we leave the room for a minute. Maybe it is his fault because, as anyone who knows my husband knows, he finds flatulence entertaining like a 5th grader and is known for it far and wide. So the pooping in the tub gene must come from him. I don't know.

All I know is that the instant the poop hits the water, my poor husband takes the blame.

7 Random Facts About Me!

This is a tag from Stella's mom, Julie!

Here are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

1) I have nightmares. Rarely ever just plain old dreams, just nightmares. Haunted houses, serial killers entering my bedroom, spiders, lots of spiders. I tend to wake up yelling and grabbing for David, who has gotten used to it.

2) I took my brother to my senior prom. Didn't have a date - no one asked me : ( I am actually not bitter. It was a boring prom, really. In our school cafeteria and all the DJ played was suck-ass country music. I wished for a life anywhere but in Florence, Texas that night.

3) I have always wanted to be 4 inches taller. I am 5 feet even and as a little girl, I was told that to be in the Miss America Pageant you had to be at least 5 foot 4 inches. I actually don't know if that is true or not, but it stuck with me and I have always felt that physical beauty meant being at least 4 inches taller than I am. I am about over it now, at 30. But anyway...


4) I once won $625 on a pull of a slot machine in Vegas. Lights and sirens went off, a man in a tux came over and handed me the money. It was the most exhilarating moment ever. I stopped gambling for the night, and bought a $30 shot of tequila at the bar and listened to the band they had playing for the rest of the night.

5) In second grade I found a classmate, Lindsay's math homework on the floor, erased her name and turned it in as my own. I did this for two reasons. One - I hated math even then and knew her work was much more likely to be correct than mine. And two - the teachers had just handed out parts to the spring musical, Song of the South- without auditions as usual -and even though I wanted desperately to have a real part, they said I was too little and quiet and had to stand on the risers in the back and sing Zippidy do dah with the chorus. And who got the lead part - without auditioning? You guessed it - Lindsay. I remember that I felt bad when she couldn't find her homework and started crying, but it was too late, I had already done it and it didn't occur to me that I could confess. The teacher gave her credit anyway cause, well, it was Lindsay.

6) My favorite all time movie is Goonies. Growing up I always wanted adventure. Treasure hunting, swashbuckling adventure. I used to bury things and draw maps to them. We had 7 acres of land so this game got rather extensive and I am sure there is costume jewelry still buried somewhere out at my Mom's house.

7) I don't care for chocolate ice cream. I am reminded lately how kids adore chocolate ice cream and think vanilla is just lame. I never understood this as a kid. I much prefer vanilla with a little chocolate sauce or strawberries or something added. Chocolate is too sweet and overpowering. Vanilla ice cream for me - especially Amy's Mexican Vanilla. Mmmmmmmm.

So I tag: Andrea', Joni, Ronni, Cici, Elaine, Lynn, and Kris

Yesterday was my first Acupuncture appointment. I decided to see if Eastern Medicine can help me with the vertigo and my insurance actually will pay some of it.

And after one appt I can't really tell you if it works or not. They want to see me twice a week for a bit then they will taper it down. They seem to think they can help me. And they can treat my allergies and cough too. I have had a chronic cough since Sept last year and I am ready for it to go away.

First, I want to say that acupuncture is not the painless, relaxing, zen treatment I expected. Christine, the acupuncturist, pretty much told me that the placement of the needles for my treatment might cause some 'discomfort'. Seems if you go in for relaxation or other mild treatments, you barely feel the needles. But to tackle vertigo and migraines it is a little more extensive.

The first needles she put in my forehead I felt only as a little pinch. Same with my scalp, and belly. But then she started putting them in my legs and it wasn't the needles that hurt, it was the surge that went down my leg that did it. Then several more that didn't hurt and then in the side of my foot, near my big toe. Those hurt. And the couple in my wrists sent electrical funny bone-like surges into my hands and that was not fun. But after a minute it stopped hurting and I was able to relax. Christine commented on my high pain tolerance. Heh. Natural Childbirth, lady. A few painful needle sticks can't compete.

After about 20 minutes of me lying in the dark listening to zen music Christine came in and removed the needles. Then she massaged my forehead with a bit of menthol oil That was really nice.

I am still feeling dizzy and queasy today, so I am not sure about that. But I can report that my cough is better. Not gone, but better. Less tight and itchy in my chest and less powerful. So I don't know. Maybe there is something to this. Or maybe I am just letting people stick needles in my nerves for no reason.

Texas Senate Passes Bill Requiring Abortion Seekers to Hold Newborn during Procedure.
Today in Texas, in an unprecedented move to preserve women's health, the Senate overwhelmingly approved a bill requiring women seeking abortions to hold and cuddle a newborn while undergoing the procedure.

Dufus McCrackhead (R) sponsored the bill saying "Not being required to hold a newborn during abortions has long been a danger to women's health and I am glad today that Texas has taken this great leap forward to protect these poor women."

When asked where the newborns would come from McCrackhead replied "Oh, that's easy. See we take all the unwanted children born to Texas women who can't get CHIP and Medicaid and we distribute them to clinics all over the state. It's all for the common good, see?"

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Here is the real story.

http://www.statesman.com/news/content/region/legislature/stories/05/03/3abortion.html

When will it all end? I am not pro-abortion, but I sure as hell am and will always be pro-choice. But I am really beginning to think we should just overturn Roe v Wade and then women can set up their own secret clinics and seek help in private with less harassment and our government can stop spending inordinate amounts of time and money on this one and only topic. We can then try to focus on electing candidates based on their plans to improve the lives of the children already here instead of saving those who aren't.

Can the Texas Legislature please return to trying to fix the goddam broken school system and property taxes instead of trying to shame women, control their bodies and tell doctors how to practice medicine?