New York City was a blast. We got home late on Sunday night exhausted and broke. It was a very busy four days; I am not even sure what and how much to write about the trip. So in honor of our historic appearance in the studio audience of Letterman, how about I do a top ten list?
Ten things I learned in New York City:
10. When you stand in line to get into the Good Morning America studio at 6:00 in the morning, an angry young black man will stand nearby screaming obscenities and unintelligible phrases at you. You can try your damnedest to make out what he is saying. He could be upset about Darfur or worried that Iran will become a nuclear power, but most likely he is just fricken crazy.
9. When a person dressed as the Statue of Liberty wants to take a picture with you, don't think he is doing it for the warm fuzzies. After you pose for the photo he will demand you pay him $5. As a gullible tourist, you will pay him and feel like an ass, but at least the photo is pretty good.
8. When you take your husband's picture with a Rockette, you will realize how handsome he is and you will not take it personally how great he looks standing next to her.
7. When you take a limo to the Empire States Building after a Broadway show and get to the top without having to stand in line, you will feel like a rock star. Of course, the no waiting thing wasn't because we were special, but because there was hardly anyone there. It was freezing up there, but gorgeous at night.
6. Guards at the Met have a large sense of their own power and enjoy yelling at people. Instead of posting signs like "No pictures in this room, please" they post guards nearby to yell at anyone taking pictures. And since photos are allowed in much of the museum, there are lots of people taking pictures. Berating tourists must be a sport at the Met. Beware.
5. Street pizza really is the best pizza in the world. It may look like Texas mall pizza, but there simply is no comparison. New Yorkers really know how to eat.
But if you decide to have the big breakfast buffet at the Park Central Hotel, be sure to ask how much it is first. Otherwise you might have a heart attack when you get the bill of $57 for two people to eat waffles, eggs and bacon. Ouch!
4. Snow is awesome. And I have decided I should move to a cold climate. Not because I like the temperature, but because it is so easy to look chic and stylish in a nice coat and scarf. I would catch a glimpse of myself walking past the shiny buildings and think, "Damn, I look pretty good!" In the Texas heat we wear much less clothing. And in the summer especially, it is not so easy to look good, especially for those of us pasty people. But in NYC in the winter, a tailored coat and scarf makes you look like a star. And even the Broadway dancers, who tend to wear very little on stage, are just as pasty as me. And they make it look good. No fake-n-bake! I love it!
3. A few blocks from the Empire States Building is a legitimate museum called the Museum of Sex. It has artifacts and exhibits you can walk through as an intellectual, just as you walk through the Met - except there are no guards yelling a people. And though you view the exhibits in a grown-up, classy manner, it just might make the rest of your trip with your spouse a tad bit more, um, interesting.
2.Being in the studio audience of Letterman will turn you into a dork. You will keep checking the monitor to see if you are visible and when you are you may just bop your head back and forth a little bit to see yourself move on the monitor. This will cement your status as a dork.
1. If you find yourself standing next to a wax statue of Paris Hilton, you simply must pick her nose.
If you want to see more of our NYC pics, I put the more interesting ones on Shutterfly. Take a look if you want.