So hair. Hair, hair, hair. Hair. All this focus on my hair. I have just about run the gamut with it and can perhaps (almost) say that I can handle the loss of it. In fact, whether I lose my hair or not, I have just about made the decision to cut it. The truth right now is that I am finding it hard to care for it. After one chemo treatment, the amount of energy it takes to wash, rinse, comb, dry and care for it is too much. I have had help the last three washes and while that is nice, I don't want to need help with it. And the reading I am doing about caring for your chemo influenced hair is daunting. Baby shampoos every 3-5 days, pat dry, no dryers, caps to bed to prevent hair loss through friction, etc. Geez. I am starting to feel that cutting it is the right thing to do simply becuase I will feel worse if I can't maintain it. It will take way more physical and emotional energy to baby my hair and study every follicle to see if it is showing signs of falling out. I am tired of it already and it hasn't even started. And with this fatigue, I have to let something go. And I would rather spend the time with my son than with my hair dryer.
So the tentative plan is to go to some expensive salon after Steel Magnolias closes Aug 5th (cause I am still hanging on to the thought I may perform next weekend - let me deal with one delusion at a time please...). I am thinking of some cute low maintanance pixi cut. Layers and spiky? Natalie Portman boyish? Whatcha think? Chin length? I have never contemplated a short do for myself and I am hoping to make it an adventure. I am not promising not to mourn my hair for a bit, but I think I am already thru the worst of it. And I am tired of feeding it energy. So there.