Kindergarten and baby countdown

Jackson starts kindergarten in a week and I am so nervous.  It is such a big change for the two of us.  He will be at school all day five days a week.  No more 3 half-days a week and the rest of the time with me.  I am starting to feel some separation anxiety here.  My baby will be out of my control most of the day, 5 days a week.  Breath, I can't breath...I think I need some Lamaze technique here...

Ok.  I know we will both survive.  I know so many kiddos who spend that much time and more in daycare from birth and they are just fine.  So a 5-year-old should be able to handle kindergarten.  Not sure his heavily pregnant hormonal mommy can handle it, but he should be fine, right?

Tomorrow evening is the elementary open house where we get to visit his classroom and meet his teacher.  We'll take his (huge amount of) school supplies there so they don't have to deal with them first day of school.  And I'll get his school lunch account set up with some money. 

I found out his school is one of six in Round Rock ISD giving all kids free breakfast in their classrooms every morning.  That is pretty awesome!  I have no idea how that is being funded and if it is eventually going into all the schools, but I am glad Jackson will get that benefit. 

I am getting rounder and feeling more ready to have this baby every day.  34 weeks now.  6 weeks to go.  It sounds like an eternity to me with this heat and the ankle/foot swelling.  I almost have the nursery ready.  I am washing my cloth diapers right now and getting them ready to use for a second kiddo.  I used cloth on Jackson for 10 or 11 months before they got too bulky to fit into his clothes and he got to physically combative during diapering to get them on him snugly.  But I enjoyed using cloth for most of that time and am actually looking forward to doing it again.  Just something about a clean, soft, cotton diaper.  And washing them is really not such a big deal.  When he gets bigger and graduates to the larger sizes I will probably invest in a different style of cloth diaper.  They have several less bulky styles that go on faster than the pre-fold style I have now.  I have several friends who used a different style and were able to use cloth all the way to potty training.  So I am giving it another go and feeling happy about it.

We have a change-filled few months ahead of us in the Sray household.  Jackson starts school and we are adding a family member.  Starting over with a baby after 5 years.  What were we thinking?  Kidding.  Sort of.

Jackson has been so excited about the baby since he learned about him.  I know he is going to be a great big brother and will love him very much.  But it isn't going to be easy.  I think it has started to sink into his mind about how much attention the baby will be getting and how needy the baby will be.  He has started to ask whether I'll love him (Jackson) the most and if he will still be my favorite boy.  I've tried to deflect by saying that he will be my favorite big boy and his brother will be my favorite baby boy.  But he isn't satisfied with that.  He wants me to tell him I'll love him more than the baby.  Tonight he was upset and crying a little at bedtime saying he didn't want me to help the baby more than him.  And he didn't want his Omi to bring the baby presents instead of him.  Poor guy is starting to get that though he really wants a baby in the house to play with, he doesn't want to actually share his mom with the baby.  I don't know how to reassure him.  Or even if it is possible.  He's right.  The baby will take a lot of attention and care.  Jackson will have to be patient when he needs something and I am nursing the baby.  He will have to share his mom and dad who he has had all too himself for five years.  It will take some time to adjust, and I hope Jackson can love and enjoy his baby brother eventually. 

Ooh, I hear the dryer singing to me.  The diapers are ready...