In search of perfection

Jackson is such an interesting person. This morning he came into my room crying, sobbing, devastated. I took him into my arms and asked him what was wrong and he said, "I'm not perfect. I'm not per-her-fe-he-hect!" It was so sad. I wasn't sure what to say. Or where that had come from. But I questioned him till I figured out that he had just seen a song on Jack's Music Show on Noggin about 'no body's perfect'. I sure wish I had heard the song. Then I would know maybe what the hell set him off. It was noggin, for pre-schoolers, so it was probably just something my weirdo kid found devastating. I tried to tell him it was ok,that no one is perfect, but that didn't seem to help. And I don't think he really understands what perfect means. I dunno. It was one of those moments of parenting when you go 'shit, I am really raising another whole person here. This is not a game!'

Aaannd this is why they tell you to watch tv with your kid. So when they start crying because they aren't perfect, you might know WTF set them off.

I had an appointment with a plastic surgeon today to talk about the scar on my face. I was hoping the plan would be to simply plump up the divot with some filler or harvest some fat from the place of my choice and fill it up with that. But alas it will not be that easy. The doc says that it is scar tissue banding and pulling that is making the divot and filler won't help. So we have to actually excise the scar and put in stitches and start all over. He thinks that it can definitely look better than it does now. The dimple casts a shadow and I feel it makes me look tired and droopy. So I am going to do it. It will be a 30-minute procedure in the office, stitches for five days and then creams and make-ups till it looks good. So December 1st is the day. Heh, I went to David's company Christmas party last year with a band-aid on my face and here I am getting elective scar revision the first of December. But I just want to get it over with.

The doc also thinks my insurance will cover the procedure. So that is awesome. And I want to do it now before my insurance rolls over my deductibles and such next year. Interesting that I called several plastic surgeons in Austin and none of them were interested in billing my insurance or even asking if it was covered. The receptionist at one place was frank with me when I asked why. She said it wasn't worth it to the doc. My insurance might pay them a couple hundred for a scar revision. They are making bank on face lifts and liposuction. My measly insurance payment ain't nothing. And they wanted to charge me $55 for a consult. I went ahead and made an appointment because you have to make them a month in advance. But my Oncologist gave me the name of a board certified plastic surgeon in Georgetown and he was totally interested in my insurance and got me in in 2 weeks time. Said this is a chemotherapy-related injury and is billable and should be covered. I just felt like I mattered there. My little scar left over from a freak chemo infection that I don't like looking at every day matters as much to this doc as the boob jobs and face lifts. So I am cancelling the appointment in Westlake and going to the guy in Georgetown. So there.