I'm not Francine, but I ain't bad

I got a callback for Best Little Whorehouse, which was held last night. Pretty unexciting actually. I had a good time hanging out, visiting with the several old friends who were also auditioning and watching the goings on. I was called back to read/sing for 'Mona's girls' aka 'the ho's'. We were not scheduled to read/sing till 8:45 but it went pretty much as expected - they didn't get to us till 10:00. But that was ok, I was patient and having fun hanging out.

But when it was finally our turn, it was late and they were tired and we didn't really get to do much. Got to sing a couple of bars each in one of the songs the ho's do. And got to read a couple of sentences. That was it. Turns out the director plans to simply cast the girls she wants and work out which girl plays which parts another day. I was disappointed because I was all geared up to really audition, compete, give em hell. And it turns out I didn't have to. It kinda took the wind outta my sails.

But, I am fairly certain I will be cast as one of Mona's girls. I felt really good about my initial audition and then singing with all the other girls I could see where I fit in that group and it looks good. Plus, I am not sure how many girls there will be, but there were not too many extra called back. Maybe even everyone will be cast and placed according to who can sing what. If so I feel pretty confident because I was as good a singer or better than most and not too far behind those above me.

I have learned thru this audition that I have got to stop underestimating what I can do. I don't consider myself a singer because I can't belt the blues like Aretha. I so admire and almost worship great singers. I want desperately to come back as a soul singer, a blues woman, a Francine Reed. (Link goes to Francine song on Lyle album.)

Because I can't sing like that I do this all or nothing thing. I can't sing like Jennifer Holiday so I don't sing at all. Stupid, really because all I am doing is sabotaging myself and denying myself the joy of acting and singing in musicals. "I can't dance," I say, "I can't sing." When the reality is that I sang as well or better than most at this audition. And I do a pretty mean Janis Joplin at theatre karaoke parties. Maybe I can't play Reno Sweeney but that doesn't mean I can't get a decent part in a local musical.

So hopefully my instincts are right and I will get a part in Whorehouse and in May, you'll find me scantily clad on the Palace stage. Cast list probably won't go up til Monday. I'll let you know.

I also had an appt with my dermatologist yesterday and had a couple of moles removed. One had 'abnormal' boundaries. They would normally have just watched it for a while to see if it changes or grows, but because it is in the middle of my back, they wanted to remove it. They tend to remove anything you can't monitor well yourself - backs and scalps they told me. And because I have a prior cancer they are also very careful. They sent it off to be tested for skin cancer. Just a precaution, really, so I am not nervous about that. I don't expect it to come back as anything.

I am more worried about the fact that I can't reach the little wound on my back to clean and care for it. I can't even reach the band-aid to take it off. I am supposed to keep it moist and covered so it heals nicely. Not sure exactly how to work it. If I shower in the morning after David goes to work, I have no way to change the dressing. I am seeing my mom in the morning, so she can help me then. I guess I'll figure it out.