Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I wasn't able to blog yesterday because of the bone pain. I couldn't have sat in this chair long enough to write anything. I didn't do much of anything but spend the time trying in vain to find a comfortable position. Laying down puts too much pressure on my bones, sitting up helps for a minute, til the pressure on my hips is too much and I have to do something else. I understand that the Neulasta is a miracle drug that makes a big difference in the lives of cancer patients. But this bone pain for 36 -48 hours is exhausting.

I have been taking round the clock Tylenol and Motrin and it kind of takes the edge off, but not much. Last night at about 11:30 I had to get out of bed to take some Darvocet and eat something because the Darvocet often makes me sick. And even then it didn't end the pain, just dulled it enough so I could sleep. At its worst, the pain is huge; my bones ache, especially hips, ribs and shoulders, but also my soft tissue feels bruised and I can't be touched. At its best, the pain is a constant annoying throb, centered in my hips, like right now. I try to keep my humor about me, but it sure is getting old. I am tired of hurting after two days. But I know it will soon be past and that is what is keeping me going. Just a few more days and I will be feeling great. For a week. Blech.

I had an appointment today with Dr. Yohe for my yearly girl exam. She was running behind so I had to wait for far too long in the exam room after waiting far too long in the lobby. My mom and I waited probably 40 minutes in the exam room for her to get to us, me in that attractive pink gown I was given to wear. I was really having a hard time sitting because of my painful hips. This office has these exam tables that actually sit up into chairs before and after the exams and it was in the up position so I couldn't lay down. I sat in the chair and waited, then stood up and paced when I couldn't sit anymore. Between the pain and the fact that I was rapidly fading from needing to eat, I was kinda having a rough time. Mom rubbed my back to try to make it easier but I was just about to call it quits, put my clothes back on and go home when the doc finally made an appearance. She really is great, so I am glad I stayed. We talked about chemo and birth control and ovarian function and decided that she would test my hormones to see at what level my ovaries are functioning. This will tell us how crazy we need to be about birth control. If I register as menopausal from the chemo, I keep taking the birth control pill and stop worrying. If I register normal, I keep taking the pill and we worry or add another method to the mix. Chemo may or may not shut off my ovaries, and it may or may not render the pill null and void. This is when that men's pill would come in real handy - do you hear me Pfizer? How about you GlaxoSmithKline? Anybody?

After the appointment we ate fabulous chicken pot pies at KFC (Thanks for the tip Mary Ellen), and I can't tell you how much difference eating makes on the way I feel. I don't often get that stomach-growly hunger, I just start to wilt. And move even slower and feel like passing out. It is sometimes unrecognizable as hunger and by the time I figure out what the problem is I am pretty far gone. Then I eat something and as if by magic, I feel able to go on and deal with a few more hours of the incessant, irritating, tedious, oh-so-sucky bone pain.

Wow, it seems like this is the day of complaining for Marsha. I didn't intend to get on here and complain, but since it seems like that is what is happening can I talk about a little something that has cropped up? Something small, but irritating? It seems that on top of the baldness that has plagued my head, I have developed some kind of pimple thingies. On top of my head. Not sure what they are. Look like bug bites, feel like pimples. Probably irritated hair follicles as my remaining velcro-fuzz is rapidly taking flight from my head and landing like so much dandruff on my arms, neck and clothes. And those little hairs stick to me and itch to high heaven, but I digress from the topic; the topic of head pimples or whatever they are. Must I suffer this indignity? I mean really. WTF?

In other news, David worked from home today and kept Jackson while I was at the doctor. And when I got home he reported that while David worked on important DMI business, Jackson, who has a frequent perch on David's desk, somehow peed on his keyboard and now the 'z' and 'x' keys don't work. And of course David was working on a project called 'zag'. How did this happen? I dunno. But it sure makes me smile to think about it. I should leave Jackson home with Daddy more often.

I have an appointment with my eye doctor tomorrow morning to follow up on my lasik once more. I can tell my eyes are still too dry, but my vision is good. I am still so glad to have gotten my eyes fixed. What a gift it has been.

I am not sure if I will make it back to work tomorrow. I sure would like to but it will all depend on the state of my hips and whether the bone pain allows me to sleep tonight. I wasn't able to drive today, we shall see what tomorrow brings.

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