Monday, July 23, 2007

The shows went well on Saturday and Sunday. I was feeling well enough to perform. I kinda pooped out Sunday afternoon, long about intermission though, and had to finish the last scene on sheer force of will. But I did it. We performed to very full houses, almost sold out both shows. That was really nice. My Dad got to see the show on Saturday night and though the irony of the role wasn't lost on him, he enjoyed the show.

This morning I had an eye doctor visit to check on my lasik healing. I confess that I have not been as diligent with the tear drops to combat dry eye as I should have been. Guess I just had other things to think about. So my left eye is still a bit behind my right in terms of dryness and visual acuity, but all in all the lasik was a success and I can see 20/20 without contacts or glasses.

I told Dr. Miller about my lymphoma and we talked a bit about what chemo means for my eyes. She said that chemo can exacerbate dry eye, so we need to keep using the gel drops at night and I will continue with monthly check-ups to make sure this doesn't mess with my eyes too much. She wants me to consult with her before I get any radiation, cause that can cause some damage depending on the type or placement of it. But that will be later down the road and she said that as long as we watch it, cancer should not mess up my great lasik results.

I am sure glad I got it done. With all these procedures they sometimes don't like you to wear contacts and that means glasses, which you can't wear during a procedure, just before and after it. So you end up blind and wondering where they put your glasses when you are already vulnerable from the drugs and procedures and those breezy stylish gowns they give you. It is definitely nice to not have to worry about my sight while undergoing all this shit.

This afternoon I got the Portacath placed in my chest. They were really nice and even pretty much on schedule today. I was not supposed to eat after 8:00 this morning, but after experiencing on Friday just how sick I could get going NPO all day, Mom and I decided to ignore that order. She's an RN and felt that while it is imperative to be NPO for a PET scan like Friday's, it is simply not necessary to be NPO for conscious sedation, like today. They don't want you to get sick from the drugs and puke all over them or yourself or aspirate it into your lungs. But I had these same drugs last week. We know they don't make me sick. So we decided that it was in my best interests to eat a light lunch. And when they asked me when I had last eaten, I was a bald-faced liar and told them what they wanted to hear. I wish I didn't have to do that, but after Friday, I am not going to go without eating without a really, really good reason.

The port is just under the skin above my left boob. You can't really see it under there unless you are looking for it. Right now it looks kinda scary cause I have two incisions and pen markings all over. But when the incisions heal, I think it won't be very noticeable. It is pretty tender and sore right now. I am not looking forward to the nurses touching it tomorrow when I get my first round of chemo. But in the long run this will be so much better than having to get an IV all the time. I will not miss the techs and nurses multiple attempts one bit. Today the guy got in on the second try. No I won't miss that a bit.

While I was having the port placed, Dr. George called my cell and left a message for me. He has the results of Friday's PET Scan and it is very good news. The scan did not turn up any other areas of lymphoma. So what we already knew about in my chest/lung area is all of it. The lymphatic system is all over your body and they are all connected to each other somehow, so it is possible for the cancer to travel to other parts of your body where there are lymph nodes.

But in my case, they all decided that living in my right lung was the way to go. So they are all concentrated there oblivious to the fact that we plot their death even now. I picture the bugs in those old Raid commercials. You remember, they're all sitting around the kitchen partying and having fun til one sniffs the air and yells "RAAIIDD!" And they all explode in a cloud of dust. Well that is my lung: Party central today, but the sunsabitches are gonna get it tomorrow!

Heh, I think the darvocet I took for my tender port is making me silly. I better go to bed.


Fire Berry said...

Not so silly, at all... all sorts of motivational speakers and healers feel visioning is an EXTREMELY powerful tool in healing -- and I agree -- think of it like this: How can we play a role to the finest of our ability without imagining what is happening within the play -- fictional or not. And science shows that real or imagined, the mind doesn't care. It takes what you give it -- real or imagined. So if you've imagined eradicated cancer, then eradicated cancer it will be!

I take your imagining of the roaches in the "RAAAAaaiiiiiDDDddd" commercial as a very positive sign.

I'll be thinking about you today, as you begin your first round o' chemo...

Love and Light and Laughter,

Ronni said...

Yeah. What she said.

Hang in there, Marsha, I know it's all going to explode in a puff of dust!

Mary Ellen said...

I had a port. They are really great. Now it's tender but it will get better around the site. Still tender in the insertion quarter inch round but a little anbesol (the stuff you can put on kids gums when they are teething)gently pressed on the insertion site with a clean q-tip or sanitary towelette will help greatly.
Sometimes you get a strange sensation of cold or butrning or heavy when the stuff goes in beats the hell out of five attempts with an IV.
Love you,
Mary Ellen

Jooley Ann said...

Marsha, this is such good news! I'm extremely relieved to hear that there are no lymph nodes involved. Excellent news! And I'm so glad that you're doing Steel Magnolias performances! And that you've got such a great visualization for blasting the sunsabitchces outta your lungs. Awesome. :)